Competition. Yes? No? Plus? Delta?
'Lo there, Fred.

Now, as I already mentioned at an earlier time, I am not a very consistent writer. Therefore, I make no excuses for not having written in . . . well, however long it's been. Nor do I plan to make any excuses if, and when I don't write twice (or more) the amount since the last time I wrote. I may explain this little tidbit over and over again, but I will not make excuses. This is simply the way it is.

With that out of the way, let me continue on with this entry. Competition. I don't understand it. I never have, and chances are I never will. However, I know it exists. It can--and let me specify that this is very rarely for me--be entertaining to witness.

First, let me explain why I don't like competition. One, I have found that--in general--competition tends to bring out the worst in the participants of the sport. Two--and again, I have found this generally to be the case, as I have with all of the points I'm making--competition tends to bring out the worst in the spectators. At this point I could stop and demonstrate why this is true using specific proofs and examples such as a certain hockey game or a specific Olympian who was murdered because it was perceived that this Olympian lost the game for the country and so on. I could take time to go through these specifics and more, but I shan't. Three, it is the general bad feelings caused by points one and two that make it un-enjoyable for me not only to participate in, but also to spectate (is that even a word?) at an event.

That being said, let me just make mention that I know there are good points to competition, positive goals. I even agree with those goals. Competition gives you a ruler by which you can measure your own progress. It motivates you to improve yourself. There are several more. Just ask any PE teacher (or coach) to justify the need for physical education in secondary schools, and they'll give you a list that would be very comparable to the positive reasons for competition.

However, I have found that in spite of the justifiable causes for "friendly" competition, there quickly comes into existence such a feeling of bad blood, that those desired outcomes are often ignored. Spectators and participators alike focus so much energy onto the sentiment of "me good, you bad," that those altruistic termini are discarded by the wayside and exchanged for the fodder that is the insult, the put-down, the come-back, the trash-talk, the fight, the arguments over rules and plays and goals, and so on, and so on, and so on.

As a result, I do not like, do not participate in, do not spectate (there's that non?-word again) at competitions. And yet. . . . I'm being trained to a new program with the company with which I am employed. The training will last for five to six weeks. There are two other classes that will be doing the same training at the same time. Already, the teachers of these classes are instigating a general spirit of competition between said classes. While I cannot even begin to communicate to you how much I absolutely loath any form of competition, I found myself enjoying it. Specifically, I found myself enjoying one certain exchange between my teacher and the teacher of another class. This exchange was playfully humiliating (that brings to mind similar phrases that seem to contradict themselves that I could discuss for several entries, or at least one). Part of me abhorred the display. Yet, another, darker part of me enjoyed it. Of course, because I recognized that I enjoyed something that I also loathed, this recognition made me loath the display--and, consequently, competition--that much more.

Well, I'll have to look at this more in depth when I'm not falling asleep. I could also spend several more entries on my own contradictory self nature, and I probably will. Until next time.

Yours, Jeff